Babylon Heights by Irvine Welsh

Author:Irvine Welsh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

Act Two

The song ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ starts to play.

The same hotel room, only a lot more ‘lived in’. Clothes are strewn around, empty bottles of whisky litter the floor, beds are unmade and ashtrays are overflowing; it is clearly some weeks into the production.

Charles enters dressed as a baby Munchkin. He looks around, then satisfied the room is empty, heads straight for a full bottle of Scotch on the table. He’s clearly stressed out and in desperate need of a drink. He polishes off the whisky, pours another and repeats the process.

Raymond, wearing a Munchkin soldier uniform and carrying a wooden gun, enters tentatively, standing in the doorway.

Charles turns to face him, tense with rage and fear.

Charles Keep away from me!

Raymond My dear boy, whatever’s the matter?

Charles What you did to me last night . . .

Raymond shuts the door behind him. He takes a step forward.

Raymond It was for your own good . . . it was an old thespian trick, well utilised in theatrical circles in order to combat the –

Charles You hurt me . . . I can hardly . . .

Raymond steps forward. Charles steps back.

Charles Keep away from me, you . . . you beast!

Raymond stops, moves back towards the door.

Raymond You caused the pain yourself by being so tense. I told you to relax. All functioning depends on the correct balance of tension in the entire neuromuscular system from head to toe. Granted, I normally practise this with other actors, skilled in the art of relaxation, the Alexander Technique . . . I forgot that the lay person often has difficulty . . . (Stepping forward.) Let me see what’s wrong . . .

Charles, snarling dementedly, charges forward a few paces and Raymond retreats, opening the door.

Charles FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!

Raymond I’ll let you simmer down, Charles . . . a most unseemly outburst.

He exits and shuts the door behind him.

Charles makes for the whisky and pours himself another drink. Something catches his eye. His drawer in the chest is slightly open. He goes over and pulls it open. He rummages through the drawer in panic.

Terrified, he starts looking around, under beds, pillows, mattresses, etc.

Philomena enters dressed as one of the ‘Lullaby League’. She is holding a yellow brick in her hand. She looks exhausted and immediately takes off her shoes.

Philomena (sitting down on the floor, massaging her feet) . . . Half past four this morning I was on that set. Half past four! Sure, we didn’t get a break until twelve. Miss Garland didn’t come on set until ten and then she kept fluffing her lines and that horrible little dog kept peeing everywhere . . . managed to get a yellow brick though. Little memento. One of the labourers said it would be OK . . . What was all that noise last night? I didn’t get to sleep until after twelve, and I had to get up at three thirty. Were you and Raymond arguing, Charlie? It sounded like you were arguing.

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